Sunday Thoughts

So I’m sitting at Starbucks (surprise) in German Village, thinking about lots of things.  I’ve not been the most prolific blogger of late, and it’s dawned on me that I turn to this blog as an outlet when I feel I need to talk but don’t have anyone to talk to.  By expressing myself here, I’m telling someone, everyone, and no one all at the same time.

Since my last post, I have to say that I’m seriously jazzed about the general direction my life has taken.  Some of the highlights of the past four months:

  • I got to see my friends in Cincinnati over the holidays (Andrew, Rich, Chase and Kevin).  It was really a fantastic, laid back weekend.  Rich and Andrew were fantastic hosts, and even though we only see each other once a year it’s amazing how we lapse back into the same comfortable friendship we’ve always enjoyed.
  • My weight loss has continued and I’m now at 155 lbs. bringing my total weight loss to about 70-75 lbs.  I feel better than I have in years, and have started to exercise when I feel like it.  I’ve learned over the years that I can’t force myself to do something I don’t want to without resenting it, and my rebellious streak kicks in and I stop doing it, just to spite myself.  Most people have trouble getting along with others; I get along with most everyone.  It’s myself that I find I’m at odds with most of the time.  Odd.
  • Friends: I have friends!  Making friends is one of those things that falls into the category of “easier said than done.”  Fortunately, I’ve stumbled upon a group of great guys here in town who are genuine, relaxed, open-minded, fun, smart, and with whom I have common interests.  I had my doubts about staying in Columbus, and had the opportunity to move when I started my new position.  I’m glad I stayed.  For now, I feel as if I’m where I should be.
  • Dating: Meh.  That’s about all I can say on this.  I’m at a period in my life where I’m questioning my beliefs regarding romantic relationships.  When I was in the throes of youthful naivety I thought that gay relationships were like straight relationships, only with two men, more sex and a greater attention to home decor.  Over the years I’ve come to see what’s behind the curtain and the different kinds of relationships are daunting.  How can I meet someone with whom I share the same relationship goals when I’m not sure what I want myself?  The most I can hope for is to meet someone in my same stage of the journey, or at least a very patient, non-clingy person.

So I guess that’s it for now.  I head to San Antonio tomorrow for the week.  I love Texas.  The weather should be great and I’m looking forward to spending some time in the sun in the evenings after work.

After what felt like a long winter, sunshine seems to be curing all of life’s ills for me lately.


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