So I’m sitting at Starbucks (surprise) in German Village, thinking about lots of things. I’ve not been the most prolific blogger of late, and it’s dawned on me that I turn to this blog as an outlet when I feel I need to talk but don’t have anyone to talk to. By expressing myself here, I’m telling someone, everyone, and no one all at the same time.
Since my last post, I have to say that I’m seriously jazzed about the general direction my life has taken. Some of the highlights of the past four months:
- I got to see my friends in Cincinnati over the holidays (Andrew, Rich, Chase and Kevin). It was really a fantastic, laid back weekend. Rich and Andrew were fantastic hosts, and even though we only see each other once a year it’s amazing how we lapse back into the same comfortable friendship we’ve always enjoyed.
- My weight loss has continued and I’m now at 155 lbs. bringing my total weight loss to about 70-75 lbs. I feel better than I have in years, and have started to exercise when I feel like it. I’ve learned over the years that I can’t force myself to do something I don’t want to without resenting it, and my rebellious streak kicks in and I stop doing it, just to spite myself. Most people have trouble getting along with others; I get along with most everyone. It’s myself that I find I’m at odds with most of the time. Odd.
- Friends: I have friends! Making friends is one of those things that falls into the category of “easier said than done.” Fortunately, I’ve stumbled upon a group of great guys here in town who are genuine, relaxed, open-minded, fun, smart, and with whom I have common interests. I had my doubts about staying in Columbus, and had the opportunity to move when I started my new position. I’m glad I stayed. For now, I feel as if I’m where I should be.
- Dating: Meh. That’s about all I can say on this. I’m at a period in my life where I’m questioning my beliefs regarding romantic relationships. When I was in the throes of youthful naivety I thought that gay relationships were like straight relationships, only with two men, more sex and a greater attention to home decor. Over the years I’ve come to see what’s behind the curtain and the different kinds of relationships are daunting. How can I meet someone with whom I share the same relationship goals when I’m not sure what I want myself? The most I can hope for is to meet someone in my same stage of the journey, or at least a very patient, non-clingy person.
So I guess that’s it for now. I head to San Antonio tomorrow for the week. I love Texas. The weather should be great and I’m looking forward to spending some time in the sun in the evenings after work.
After what felt like a long winter, sunshine seems to be curing all of life’s ills for me lately.